Jersey Dating Coaches | How You’re Hurting Your Relationship

In the early stages of your relationship, everything was great.  You did everything together, you loved the same things, and you were sure he was the one.  That is until things took a turn for the worst.  Now, you can’t help but to wonder where things went wrong.  As the top New Jersey dating coaches, we know that relationships require a lot of work.  If you have been wracking your mind and can’t figure out what you did, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

If you keep bouncing from relationship to relationship, then it might be you who is to blame.  If things are going great and things suddenly come to an end each and every time, you might unknowingly be doing things that are pushing partners away.

Unfortunately, we all fall into negative relationship patterns and don’t know about them until it’s too late.  But don’t worry, because we’re here to show you what those behaviors are and to teach you how you’re unknowingly hurting your relationship.  As the best New Jersey dating coaches, we know a thing or two about love and relationships.

1. You Have Trust Issues

You might have been hurt in the past by an ex who destroyed you and left your heart in a million pieces.  But why do you have to carry this baggage into your future relationships?  If you have trust issues, you are unknowingly destroying your relationship.  You might think that your new partner understands where you’re coming from when they catch you going through their text messages or “accidentally” snooping through their Facebook account.

Your partner might understand that you were hurt in the past, but they don’t understand why you blame them for it or why you aren’t able to trust them when they haven’t given you a reason not to.

2. Not Being Appreciative

When your partner used to surprise you with gifts, such as flowers, chocolates, or little love notes, you flew to the moon with excitement, and it didn’t matter if it was small or even free.  You loved everything they used to do for you.  The little candy bar he brought you after work would get posted on Facebook immediately because it melted your heart.  Even the teddy bear he won for you at the local carnival gave you butterflies in your stomach.  But that excitement isn’t there anymore.

If your partner does things for you and you don’t show excitement like you used to, your partner is not going to want to do them anymore.  Who would?  If the enthusiasm is gone, he’s not going to see a point in continuing to do nice things for you because he thinks you’re taking them for granted.  Try to remember how it first felt when your partner gave you something.  It was awesome, right?  It melted your heart because it showed your partner was thinking about you.  What has changed?  Why aren’t you excited about his kind gestures anymore?

3. Comparing Your Relationship to Other Couples

As the top New Jersey dating coaches, we know this is a cardinal in romance.  With the invention of social media, we just can’t help but to compare our relationship to other couples.  Your friend’s boyfriend might be known for being a modern day Romeo and do the most elaborate and romantic gestures for his girlfriend, which causes you to believe your man doesn’t measure up.  But comparing him to other men will make you think he’s not good enough and cause you to resent him.

We’re going to tell you something, and we hope you understand it.  Those seemingly perfect couples you see on social media are not perfect, and neither is any relationship out there.  Let’s get real here, there’s no such thing as the perfect relationship.

It doesn’t matter how glamorous they make theirs look on social media, Jessica’s and Melissa’s boyfriends might treat them to lavish nights with wine and the works, but what you don’t know is that they could have cheated on them in the past or perhaps they had an argument that morning.  Of course they’re not going to post that on social media because they don’t want the world to see their problems.  Don’t worry what other couples are doing, just concentrate on making your relationship as great as it can be and stop comparing yours to everyone else’s.

4. Nagging

In our many years of providing dating coaching in New Jersey, we’ve come to know that nagging is perhaps the number one relationship killer.  When you date someone for a long time, you’re going to discover things that drive you insane.  But if you want to save your relationship, you’re going to have to learn to pick and choose your battles.  Before you nag your boyfriend for the hundredth time about leaving the toilet seat up, maybe just put it down yourself.  Is it really necessary to say it again?  If you constantly nag him, you’re only going to push him out the door into the arms of another woman who isn’t going to nag him like you do.

Your boyfriend has flaws like everyone else, but there’s no reason for you to act like his mother every day.  Give him a break and try to understand that no one is perfect.  If you really can’t stand the things he does and it drives you crazy, then you shouldn’t be with him to begin with.

On the other hand, you’re reading this blog, which means you want to save your relationship.  In order to do that, you need to start behaving like his girlfriend, not like his mother.

If you can’t seem to make a relationship last, these are the top four ways women unknowingly destroy their relationships.  As the top New Jersey dating coaches, we want you to save your relationship and let go of these bad girlfriend habits.

If you’re single and looking for love in New Jersey, contact our New Jersey dating and matchmaking experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers and let us introduce you to quality men who are also ready to settle down.  Fill out the private survey at the top of the page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation with one of our personal matchmakers today!